No, it's not Tuesday and it's not September yet...but I'm just too excited to stay away. Not when there's majorly thrilling news to share...
YOU ASKED RALEY!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! THANK YOU, YOUNG LOVERS!!!!!!
The first two ASK RALEY emails arrived in my inbox this weekend! I'm so delighted, I'm practically verklempt and about ready to let you discuss amongst yourselves while I gather myself... shall I give you a topic, lol? ( google it ;) )
NO! Because you already gave me a topic!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) You ASKED RALEY.
Now granted, I highly suspected my Grammy and her gals the Giddy Biddies might have constructed these questions to get a rise out of me because they disapprove of ONLINE in general. {{{{{megahugs andluvs,girls!!}}}}} (and I solemnly promise never to post a pic of you with your great grand kids no matter how cute it is on my Facebook account ever again. Scouts honor. ;) ) Or conversely, my MomMom and her crew at YeOldenYears House may be messing with me because they just figured out how to work the Internet machine in the lobby and get a kick out of googling my name. (Big shout out full of luvs and adorations to her and Doris, Clieah and Laney :) {{{{{{SUPERDUPERME2UHUGSS}}}}}} for you, Fabu 4!)
But then I figured it doesn't matter. You ASK RALEY, you get Raley. Plus at least one of the email addys seemed legit.
It came from "Hannah," and goes like this:
Hey Raley,
I like your blog a lot and the fact that you are honest about your love life. You don't try to make it sound like you have all the answers even though you write a lot of romantic lovey dovey stories on your face book. You say you got married young. I'm wondering if you can help me with a problem I'm having. My boyfriend and I are both 18 and graduated this past summer. I am working full time as a waitress in the town we live in. It's a big tourist town. My boyfriend is working on a fishing boat. We got an apartment together last month and are very happy. The problem is my grandmother says I'm shacking up and living in sin. My parents, and his, don't care either way as long as we are working. I think we are doing great since we both have jobs and can afford the apartment and groceries and stuff. We love each other very much. We both think getting married is in our future, but feel like maybe 18 is too young to do it. So we decided to try living together first. But my grandmother just wont shut up about it. Now she is not even speaking to me. Just to my mom who wont say anything either way. I love her very much and worry she wont be around forever. But right now, I just don't even feel like talking to her either. Is this bad?
Hannah Needs Help
Ah, yes. Grandmothers. As you can tell from my opening up there, I have much experience with them, myself. And yes, I have often been on the wrong end of their opinions, myself...
Dear Hannah,
I guess, first I need to mention that I did in fact get married when I was nineteen to my high school boyfriend. That was in the '90's when living together was just starting to be cool in our part of the Bible Belt. Neither of my grandmothers were too thrilled about the marriage but both thought it was indeed better than this "shacking up" you mention. However, I can't say I believe marriage at such a tender age was a good trade off and I do have some worries about you.
You say you and your boyLovey both have jobs. That's no small feat in today's world. I'm curious though if tourism is constant through the winter months in your town and if your bL's job is also good then too? Or do you have other jobs lined up for when the guests go home and the seas get rough? This can work in sunny climes just fine, I'm sure, but if you live in the Great Lakes, like I do, the winter is looooooong and it's a good idea to have a plan B for earning potential or a least a good savings plan. I think it's great though that you are working hard and able to support yourselves. Well done on that score! :)
And sure love is wonderful. So is marriage. Neither have to limit you. But you need to be sure it wont before you take it on. I'm not sure living together is as un-marriage-like as you might think. If you break up after sharing this lifestyle together, I think it will be just as awful as a divorce. But that's just me. If it's right for you, it's right for you. I would caution you that as time goes by and especially if you add kids into the mix, you will need more resources. Job changes, further education, ecetera, all change the dynamic of a household. However, if you really love each other, you'll find a way.
Here's a link to a song that I loved in my two years I briefly went Country. Tanya Tucker's Two Sparrows In A Hurricane http://youtu.be/IUsyHVjacJ0 I found it inspirational when I was young and starting out in my life with boyLovey, Axl Blue. I still do sometimes when things get tough. I really do wish yo all the best and joy love and life can bring the two of you. And I suspect your grandmother does too.
You see grandmother love is built in a unique way. She was raised in another time when elders believed and taught future elders that is was their job to instill moral qualities in the younger members of their families. This is meant as a form of love. She wants the best for you. In her day, a ring on your finger meant stability. This is not necessarily the case today as it often takes two incomes to maintain a household and there are many more opportunities for a woman to support herself on equal par to that of a man. The ring of your grandmother's day also meant religious compliance. And religion was much more a part of a community's moral fiber than it is now in our more diverse, and hopefully more tolerant society. Back then, "shacking up" equalled loss of one's supportive community and public shame. And try as we might, it's hard to get past the "WAY WE WERE TAUGHT." I'm betting if you consider your own life and beliefs, you'll find you're pretty set in your ways and don't want to compromise either.
Sucks, doesn't it? ;)
The thing is, until BOTH you and your grandmother are willing to compromise, it will be a sadness you both bear. Life is uncertain. None of us knows how much time we have. I say try to work through this as quickly as you can because you love your grandmother and want her in your life. Of course you're entitled to your feelings. It's a a major bummer when the people you grew up loving don't support you in your new love of a lifetime. But if you can agree to disagree, you don't have to give anybody up and your life will be richer for it. I encourage you to be open to talking to your grandmother, just steer away from the BIG topic until one or both of you mellows or can talk about it civilly. My MomMom as well as my Grammy and I have occasionally gone years without discussing much more than the weather. But we're STILL talking and they are a vital part of my and my children's life. This is how I remain true to me. Do what you need to do to be true to you. Remember, she loves you.
{{{{megahugs}}} and Best of luck,
Love, Raley
And now for the next letter:
Dear Raley,
Do you have any good and easy chicken recipes?
Sincerely,
Call Me, ARISTA
Dear Arista,
Why yes, yes I do have some good and easy chicken recipes. Both my grandmothers are excellent cooks and taught me well. ;)
CRANBERRY WALNUT GRILLED CHICKEN CASSEROLE
Stuffies:
1 box of whatever el cheapo instant stuffing
grilled chicken diced
dried cranberries
chopped walnuts, or pecans
butter to taste
Rosemary
Thyme
Shredded cheddar cheese
Di-Structions:
Make stuffing according to the directions on the box. Add dried cranberries, your choice of nuts, dot with butter, season with Rosemary and Thyme to taste. Nuke for a few minutes. Stir in grilled chix and spread into casserole dish. Sprinkle with cheddar cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes to make the cheese crusty. Serve in squares. :)
OR
COLD BAKED CHICKEN AND SPAGHETTI
Stuffies:
chicken quarters
pasta
sauce
shredded not grated Parmesan cheese
lemon
salt
pepper
garlic powder
paprika
Di-Structions:
Prepare chix quarters for baking by rubbing with a mixture comprised of salt, pepper, garlic powder and paprika. Squirt with lemon juice from a quartered lemon. Leave lemon wedges in baking dish with a small amount of water in the bottom. Bake at 350 degrees for 1hour. Put in fridge.
Next day: prepare spaghetti to your taste, sprinkle with the shredded Parmesan and serve on plate with the cold chix straight from the fridge. Makes a great light lunch on a hot day. :)
OR
Call Raley on her cell when she's en route to to YeGoldenYears House and have her pick up some KFC with all the sides, including double mac 'n' cheese and the yummylicious choco bunt cake. ;)
Really, MomMom!! I know this is from you! Love you, and happy happy birthday! <3 RALEY
Ok, Young Lovers, what else do you wanna ask? Let me hear from you! And don't worry, I wont out you like I did my MomMom! :)
Until then and until September... <3 From Me2U Love Raley Blue <3
