Omigod! Omigod! OMIGOD!!!!!!! YOU ASKED RALEY!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY!! SO HAPPY!!
Yes, I DO get very excited when you write to ASK RALEY by emailing me at "me2uluvraleyblu (at) gmail (dot) com" with ASK RALEY in the subject line. (a little shameless promotion there, for your reading pleasure ;) And remember, you can ask anything.) Today's question is from Young Lover, "Markus." He writes:
Hey Raley,
What's the deal with you always referencing the two years you went country in the 90's? I love country music. Why did you only stay for two years?
Markus
Well, first a little sound tracking prep ALAN JACKSON'S "GONE COUNTRY"...
Hi, Markus!
As you can tell by the lyrics of this particular song, it was a very popular thing to do in the latter 90's. Western themed clothing was popular, and fancy boots were easy to find. Especially where I was living in the Midwest. (I had a really cute pair with silver toes. They hurt like a b----, but I digress). So that was part of it, I suppose. Although, I've really never been much of a little joiner.
The real deal is that my parents were, shall we say, very protective, and didn't let me listen to any of the popular, a.k.a rock, music of the 80's and 90's. (I know right?! Tres tragique.) As I've probably told you before, I was allowed to listen to the local Oldies station, and their old albums all I wanted. We had a good station where we lived in my late teens.
My early years though, were spent further south, and there was nothing but country and gospel music and this delightful little show called Hee Haw, which, if you are unfamiliar, you can CHECK HERE...
So this is sorta what life was like for me. I even had a pair of special Hee Haw overalls my parents ordered for me from the show. Hee Haw is also where I fell in love with Dolly Parton when she sang THIS... (True story: I have only ever seen one live concert and it was Dolly in 1980. I was five.) I loved Dolly so much that when I watched her own show and she would sing I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU , I would cry and cry because I didn't want it to end. My MomMom was so touched by this, she made me a little butterfly that she'd drawn with magic marker on the back of the cardboard Lipton tea box. Then she snuck behind the television and tossed it to me so I'd think, Dolly herself had sent it out of the glowbox just for me. I was thrilled beyond belief. (We then marvelled at how smart Dolly was to reuse the tea box. My MomMom is one smart gal when it comes to teachable moments.)
So, to answer the question about the "two years," I guess maybe I've always been a little bit country. Even though I grew up to be a LOT rock 'n' roll. (sorry, no Donny and Marie clip... I'm just not THAT into it, lol) The main reason may be because I commuted one hundred and two miles a day to and from nursing school for two years in the mid ninety's. As luck would have it, the Oldies station didn't transmit that far. But many, many country stations did. A dvd player was still pretty unheard of in a vehicle of any sort. You could buy them and and hook them into the cigarette lighter, but they usually drained your battery. A cassette player was a luxury in newer cars. I drove my dad's old '84 Ford pickup. It had an 8track player. I didn't have any 8tracks. So I went country.
I listened to the music.
My favorites playlist if you're curious or feeling nostalgic:
MAYBE IT WAS MEMPHIS ~Pam Tillis
BOOT SCOOTIN' BOOGIE ~Brooks and Dunn
TIME MARCHES ON ~Tracy Lawrence
FAST AS YOU ~Dwight Yoakam
EVERY LITTLE THING ~Carlene Carter
GO REST HIGH ON THAT MOUNTAIN ~Vince Gill
MERCURY BLUES ~Alan Jackson
BOOGIE WOOGIE CHOO CHOO TRAIN ~The Tractors
T-R-O-U-B-L-E ~Travis Tritt
AIN'T GOIN' DOWN ~ Garth Brooks
ROCK MY WORLD ~Brooks and Dunn
(I'm guessing you're seeing some themes here... and the more you get to know me, the more you'll see them, lol.)
And I dressed the part. I had lacy thigh high stockings under my uniform and wore my cute little boots to the hospital. That is until I got busted by the head nurse.
I learned all the line dances. They were pretty epic. (*snort* At the time.)
I was having fun. I had a job. I was working on a degree. I was making my own money. I got married. I L<3VED driving when I was young. I absolutely loved driving, Young Lovers. I'd say those two years of my young adulthood were the most wild and carefree of my life. I had one hell of a good time.
But then reality started slipping into the cracks. My parents split up, and with them, my entire close knit family. (My mom's little sister and my dad's late little sister had been best friends growing up.) I got my degree, but found out nursing wasn't for me. I was struggling with infertility at just twenty years old.
I started writing poetry again, like I had in high school, to get all the feelings out. But I longed for a type of music that reflected just who I was. I was bright and shiny on the outside. But inside, I was a dark and twisted little soul. And then one day, I heard THIS (Nirvana's Come As You Are).
And I knew I'd found my sound.
The Grunge, Alternative and Indie Rock movement were not only unfolding in proverbial "My Time," but they were speaking to me in ways that opened up my creativity and made my mind question EVERYTHING. And they let me feel what I felt. There was no more need to always be ribbons and curls, but there was no stigma against it either. In fact, with long haired guys in vogue again (Axl was gorgeous with long hair. Natural curls to his butt. Fabio had nuttin' on him.) and stripes of colored dye (think Goth and Emo) dark nail polish, self expression had never been more real.
The advent of Ska just made this even better. Throw back to Madonna, flash forward to Anime. It was as if the me that missed the entire rock movement of my childhood had been bridged. I burst out into the world. I dressed vibrantly or drab as I felt the moods. In whatever I wanted. I embraced not just my femininity, but my womanhood. I rocked it.
I wrote seriously. I entered that poetry in competitions and had it published in anthologies and got excited about the passion for writing I'd always had. I decided to do something about that. I took professional writing courses.
And when I eventually did have children, I rocked out with them. I vowed to bring them up by allowing them to be authentic. I don't think I was really allowed to be authentic growing up. I don't blame my parents, they did the best they could. But authenticity wasn't really encouraged among their generation. (Not all of them were hippies.) My dad echoed this one day when we were talking about the differences between Baby Boomers and Gen X-ers. He shocked the holy living sh*t out of me by saying, "I like you guys better." He was talking about my generation's way of saying, get out my way, and let me stand. I am who I am. Let me be me. I'm not you. I refuse to be you. It's not the end of the world. Far from it. We're going to do great things. And we can all be different and still embrace the same things.
In the end, Markus, for me, it was about how I connected to music and where I was in my life. I'm not dissin' on Country now. I'm just making my own sound. ;) Thanks for asking, and all the best to you as you find yours. <3 Raley
P.S. The Little Felt Shoes Contest is still on. 20$ gift card, people! Pretty please? read more here
