THIS IS AN OLD BLOG POST. I PUT IT UP TO CELEBRATE THE SPIRIT OF AureliaBlue-za-Palooza, WHICH, IN CASE YOU AREN'T FOLLOWING ME ON FACEBOOK OR TWITTER, IS MY WEEKLONG ATTEMPT TO BLOG AT LEAST ONCE EVERY DAY THIS WORK WEEK. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE POSTS EVER, AND I WANTED TO BRING IT TO MY FAVORITE YOUNG LOVERS TO SHARE.

(Hope it makes you laugh ;) ♥ AB
Okay, so AureliaB just got really tired of looking at the little graying old lady staring back at her from the mirror. She was fine with growing older gracefully, a little gray strand here or there...but then the mono hit... and suddenly there were big coarse grays everywhere! AureliaB has also had a few really hellacious years as of late and she has put on a few pounds and is starting to get fine lines. While she is generally a spirited fabu goddess of love and doesn't often let little things like this affect her Oomph Factor, lately she, much like the old Boss song, had simply grown tired and bored with herself. So, SHE BECAME A BLONDE!!!
And you know what? Dudes seem to dig it! It's freakin' her out just a little and of course, secretly thrills her greatly ;) But do the gents really prefer blondes? This is the most attention AB has gotten in a LOOOOOOOOOONG time.
Case in point:

Driving along in her geriatric smurf blue Granada, she began experiencing turbulence, and and fearing an iminent blow-out or worse, pulled into the KFC parking lot to get out and inspect the tires. As she was walking around kicking the tires and checking their roundness as she does at least three or four times a month and no one even looks at her twice, a not unsexy dude walks out with his chicken and proceeds to his truck which is parked next to her.

"Nice car," he says, BUT CLEARLY LOOKS AT HER A$$!

Now it is that time of month, and her butt is nice and plump, and with the brassy of brown turned blonde against her skin coloring, and her penchant for the bling, perhaps she was rockin' somewhat, but ....

Anyhoo, she said "thanks, it was Grandma's," and went back to kickin' and pretty soon he's kickin' too and says, "how much?"

She smiles.

He say's "how much?"

And she says,"Never, it's my baby!"

And HE GRINS and says, "back right's a little low," and WINKS!!! Ofcourse by then, Sonnyboy has given him the evil eye, so that pretty much ended it. But she's been driving that car on occasion for over 15 years, and pretty much exclusively the last three, and no dude EVER has noticed!

Could be cowinkydinkal...

Fast forward to AureliaB and failing-third-grader-Abbycomelately-my-dad-doesn't-live-with-us-because-he's-a-soldier-but-he's-not-overseas-cuz-he's-in-jail-until-my-eleventh-birthday-here's-16-snapshots-of-him-in-my-pocket-wannasee'em?-girl in the elementary school hallway supposedly reviewing for IPASSTEPs per Crazedthirdgradeteacher's cry for help.

They were supposed to be figuring out what time it is on Judy Instructo Clock (that's seriously her real name) and smacking down on the Crayola Deluxe Multiplication Facts flash cards, but they were actually looking at the pictures of Daddy and talking about how Girlfriend moved in because her boyfriend hit her in the head when she was sleeping and now she's looking to get a new boyfriend....when Creepyprincipaldude meanders by.

"Oh! Mrs. Blue, I didn't realize you were here today! How are you?"

Uh, why would you particularly need to realize that? "Fine thanks. How are you?"

"Oh, me? Good. Thanks for asking. So what are you working on?"

Um, guess the big book marked IPASSTEP PREP+ didn't give that away? Maybe the Daddy pics threw ya.... "Just a little review help."

BIG CHEESEY SMILE! (I am totally not kidding) and then...

"Well thanks for coming in," and the usual cold fish handshake, followed by, a quick glance at her boobs (omg!) and a subtle, but definitely there, WINK!

Eeeeewwwwwwer!!! But I do not lie. (This is actually not the first time he's ever had a peek either. But that was more due to AureliaB having a semi wardrobe malfunction in a new top, while sitting in a kindergarten chair, well below eye level at a case conference. Soooo she really hadn't thought a lot about it at the time.) But the freaking (ick) wink! Granted the b's were looking vicious as I stated before it is that time. Anyhoo. Disturbing. And moving on...

So AureliaB is healthy girl when it comes to gettin' it on, and is almost always up for a good time. ALMOST always. There are in fact two days a month, you can probably figure out which, that our resident nyphy does NOT want it! AT ALL!!!

And here comes Axl. Yes, the same Axl who tells marriage quacks that he only gets the desire twice a year, that's the one.

So here he comes along and throws out, "You know how you said I should tell you if I feel like fooling around? Well I do. Kinda. I think. Yeah, I do."
AB is really NOT thrilled. Wouldn't he just? On one of the only two days she SO DOESN'T!

She gets pissed and sends him to the post office just to get him out of her dang sight.

He comes back and gets all flirty, then handsy. She tells him it's her special time. But Axl is a very earthy guy and this does not faze him. (Secretly, AureliaB really digs this about Axl, but that's not the point...) He pulls her close so then she can't say no in spite of herself. I will spare you the details... but seriously, is it the hair?!!!

BTW, no sign of the gray, and she's LOVING IT!!!

*itty bitty totally embarassing RaleyBlueNote: six months later it all fell out. in huge hunks. because of her insane midlife crisis diy. finally, 3years, many pre-natal vitamins and 1 bouncing baby boy later, she can hold her head up in public again. ok, ok, so there was a purple phase in there that was kinda fun...but the rest of it, not so much. just a cautionary tale, Yong Lovers, have fun, but take care. and always rock it when you got it. ;)  <3 from me2u love raley blue