"If I had money, tell you what I do..." is the first line of the song, Mercury Blues, by Alan Jackson. http://youtu.be/WlfjvvdLsRQ It was one of Axl's and my favorites during those two years in the mid '90's when we went country.
How many of us have asked ourselves that question, though? I don't know about you, but I've always thought I'd do a great many good things for the world and my brothers and sister of lesser means. One of those things ties into what I want to write about today.
Another question that circulates on the web in writer's circles quite frequently, asks: Why do so many people want to be published?
Well, I can only answer for myself, but I have to honestly say it is because something within me drives the desire to share. This is my talent. Perhaps the only one I have. Writing is my first love. I've tried having long term affairs with marriage and family, and couple of other careers, and many day jobs. But writing and telling stories just keeps stealing into my room at night and romancing my dreams, filling my head with characters who need their stories to be told.
Quite frankly, it's exhausting. I work all day and late into the night. I have four children. Three of them teens, and the other a new, tiny human. I volunteer in my community and my children's schools. I teach Sunday school. I've been Axl's personal secretary in my free-time for over 20 years. I have friends. I have a ministry online. I have a physical disability that is often quite painful and has to be planned around. (But I'll be d***ed if I'm going to allow it to let me miss a thing, so I plan hard and well!) Honestly, I don't lack for things to do in life. Yet, somehow, that old writing bug finds its way in...
I often wonder what it must be like to be able to wake up, go to work, or complete one's duties at home, finish the day with a family meal, watch some Wheel of Fortune (or Today Show, if you're a night worker), and head to bed, feeling the sentiment of "job well done," then head blissfully off to dream land. Wake up. Do it all again. And be satisfied that your life is full and good. I've never known.
Perhaps, I never will. For the stories and their characters continue to come. They set in like a fever, and I have to write to survive. The alternative just doesn't exist. I must!
So, I am a writer. I am compelled. It is my calling. It is my destiny. And for me, it is the work I want to do most. Publication is just the means.
Do I do it to get rich? OF COURSE NOT!! That would be crazy. Lightening strikes where it pleases. I don't chase it. But what if I did get a lucky strike?
I'd pay off the house.
I'd further fund my children's educations.
I'd give to the hungry, unsheltered, and oppressed.
I'd buy a lifetime supply of jalapeno poppers. ;)
But the most important thing I'd do...
I'D START A TRULY FREE PUBLIC LIBRARY IN MY COMMUNITY.
Because you see, I live in a state that does not have free access to libraries. Yes, we truly do exist. Here, libraries are owned and supported by the townships they are located in. If you don't live in that township, you have to pay to use that library. I live in a township with NO library.
Now my family of six lives on less than $30,000 per year. We live well. We are happy. But we do not have extra money in excess and upwards of $80-100 dollars per year for indivual, never mind Family, memberships. Fortunately my children attend an incorporated school system and are granted free memberships to the township library in which the school corporation is located.
Although, I wouldn't exactly call this TRULY FREE. They can only check out "age appropriate" materials. "Age appropriate" is deemed by the library staff. This is a conservative town. We've had concerned citizens burning books as recently as 30 years ago. Censorship at it's finest.
There are also no bookstores for 50 miles in any direction. Well there is a store that sells Bibles. They can order a book for you. They say any book. But, you better believe if you walk in there and ask for Harry Potter, Twilight or any of the World of Warcraft series, you are going to get an earful about the sinfulness they propegate amonst our youth.
Sooooooooooo... sighhhhhhhhhh... Amazon is looking like a better option all the time, isn't it?
I do in fact, order most of my books online now. I got my newest little pet, Kindle, for my birthday this year. I don't really enjoy e-reading, but I do enjoy downloading books quickly (and reading my friends who are only published in e-format). That instant gratification of getting the book right now is almost a good substitute for walking out of the bookstore or library with new books to read.
But there's no book smell! There's nobody to talk to about books we've read. It's just no good. A part of me feels dead.
So, if I ever have money...(sing along, you know the tune now! ;) )... I tell you what I'll do...I'm going to build me a library and maybe a book store or two...
In the meantime, I'll just keep writing. :) Wish me luck!
<3With Love, From Me2u, Love, Raley Blue<3
The 'public' library system in this area has always been a sore point with us. We are a literate family, and came from a city with a well integrated system in which you could check out a book from one library and return it to another one clear across on the other side. You could also check books out from any library in the huge city - big, beautiful sprawling libraries - for free. No fees, no townships. I never even heard of a township until I moved here. For a state that pushes literacy, I think they could do better. We, too, don't pay to have library privileges, but are fortunate that our children, at least, can get books for free.
ReplyDeleteMy hopes for you is that your muse stays right by your side for as long as you want. It may be exhausting to have the burning desire to tell, write, dream, and constantly think of characters and stories, but mine left me some time ago, and I miss it. I remember one summer when nothing stopped me from typing away all day at my computer. It was a rough summer, too, as in addition to my own 3 kids I was babysitting 2 others with special needs who were on prescribed medication but their father never brought it over - but that didn't stop me. I was so compelled to sit and write for hours at a time. That, to me, felt fulfilling. The fact that I could tune out all the chaos around me and still be caught up in my imaginary world was pure bliss. But...it went away. My muse has left, and even with quiet alone time I struggle to get words on the screen. It almost feels like a punishment. It almost physically hurts. It is a deep sadness because it feels like I've lost a good friend. I long to have that burning desire again. So cherish it! Feed it and watch it grow. You will do great things if you let your muse take over, I promise you that!
For those of you who don't know Astral Faery, she is a PHENOMENAL writer in her own right!
ReplyDeleteYes, my sweet, I know you mourn the loss of your muse, but I am so excited by both your recent new projects and live ever in hope and prayer that your muse will wing her way back to you through them. Happy birthday to Saber! <3
Oh, my! You don't have a library in your town? I'm so sorry to hear that. And why on earth are librarians in a town library deciding what your child can read? That seems like overstepping. Shouldn't it be up to you what your kids are capable of reading? At least when you do make it as an author your book purchases will be tax deductible.
ReplyDeleteAs for your comment about people who work all day and then leave work and go home, done with what they have to do...I kind of feel sorry for them. After all, they don't have story worlds to escape to. They don't have the joy of an epiphany in the shower or as they're falling asleep. And they don't have an excuse to eavesdrop on the people sitting two tables over from theirs in the local diner. So while it would be nice to be able to empty our brains, in the end I think we are very lucky. :-)
Hi, Caryn!
ReplyDeleteYou know, you make a really good point there! I kinda feel sorry for them too now. It really can be a beautiful thing. And as Astral Faery pointed out, we should treasure it. Thanks for reading and commenting, it's great to see you here! :)
Wow, I'm amazed. I assumed all public libraries were free! We have a free public library but no bookstores. I love my kindle, though, even without the book smell because it's so easy to cart with me and I can read whatever mood suits me.
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up on the busy schedule. I know what it's like to juggle writing and kids!
{{{{{{SUPERSISTERMAMAWRITERHUGS}}}}}}} to you, Wendy! And yes, there is some truth to Kindle being a good traveling companion. It's also nice that he can serve up whatever whatever we feel like devouring, whenever we feel like it. He's kind of like a butler isn't he? ;) Thanks so much for reading and especially for commenting. <3 Raley
ReplyDeleteI forgot to give Astral Faery and Caryn {{{{{{{{{SUEPRSISTERMAMAWRITERHUGS}}}}}}}}!!!
ReplyDeleteBack atcha. :-)
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