Life Happened.

Well, Young Lovers, we were going to have an ASK RALEY book review today. But life happened.

Over the weekend, my family and community lost a truly great man. He died very suddenly and unexpectedly, and from what we can tell, without suffering. (Best thing a farmer can ask for.)

Our community here is very small. We are all related in some way. Our friend was a distant cousin by marriage to my boyLovey, Axl's, mother. He was also Axl's boss, having given him the chance to work and feed his own family when all else seemed lost a few years back. That's just the kinda guy THE BOSS was. He was also a leader in the community, serving in many ways. He was on so many of the county boards. And he was the chairman of our local church board. I taught Sunday school with him. And we loved and fought like cats and dogs and family will. At the end of the day, I'm very blessed to have been able to call him my friend.

I am comforted that THE BOSS is in a better place now beyond the suffering of this life. I am glad he is reunited with his son, who died suddenly when he, my sister and Axl and I were teenagers together. I'm not concerned about any religious theology here (You, and the community, might be surprised where some of mine comes from. Life is strange and full of so much more than we think.), I do know this to be true, and it's a joy.

However, for the rest of us who remain, the community is rocked by not having THE BOSS to lead us. So we are flailing a bit. We are also very old and traditional here. Many of our families have Amish roots. Many of our families have practicing Amish members. And even though we live a modern lifestyle for the most part, the care of laying a loved one to rest is done in the old ways. Right down to a neighbor is digging the grave, and the ladies are cooking for the coalation. There are alter cloths and table cloths to iron. Flowers to be gathered. There will be corn and wheat too, I'm sure. This is a farming community.

That said, I am unable today to put the planned zeal and fervor into my planned book review as I'd hoped. So please check back for that next week? In the meantime, here is an essay I wrote about a year ago in my Facebook notes. It was a favorite of my Facebook friend, LondonLady, who also died rather suddenly after a short illness this past weekend. I'd like to post it in his honor.



SHORT LIFE WITH A LOT OF DAYS

An original essay by Aurelia Blue September 30, 2011
　

One of my Facebook friends died. This is the first time this has happened to me. I don’t know how to feel. He lived in the UK and I didn’t know him personally/in real life, but he was one of those great “friends” who is on all the time and makes a point to interact with, check up on his friends and keep abreast of their lives. So much so, that on the day he passed, several friends had tried multiple times to raise him online because they recognized how odd it was not to hear from or see a post by him.

According to his son, who generously has taken time to post on his dad’s page all the info he can, including keeping us in the loop as to the services held in his father’s honor and their trip to Scotland to spread his ashes, our dear friend died peacefully sleeping in his favorite chair. An undetected heart condition the culprit, and could not have been foreseen. Our friend simply sat down to rest from a busy day and slipped away to eternal rest.
Being a Christian/Messianic Jewish Believer by faith and Pagan/Universalist by tradition, I can do nothing else but believe he has gone on to a place of forever summer and goodness. I grieve for the loss of his company in this life, but know with certainty that the energy that flows through us all, flows richer now with his presence and someday, all shall be one.

But this has caused me to stop and reflect. Perhaps it’s because there is a new baby in the house. Or because my father turned 63 yesterday and it was bittersweet because my grandfather (his father) lies dying and unable to remember any of us in a strange sterile place 300 miles away. This grandfather also turned 92 in this place two weeks ago. Without any of us.

Additionally, several of my dear friends, both online and in day to day life, have been experiencing the anniversaries of the departing of loved ones these past few weeks, and I grieve with them also. It seems life is indeed too short. Our days fleeting.

I think of this as I try repeatedly to dial my beloved grandmother, who if the truth be known, is my mother figure. She is the one I will grieve the most if she passes on before me. She is the “mom” I will lose and spend the rest of my days wishing for just one more talk with. I grew up next door to her for 14 years, even living with her some of that time. Everything I know how to do for my young children, everything I know how to cook, everything domestic thing like sewing, laundry, food preservation and bill paying, I learned from her. And when I’m hurting or the world is closing in on me and I don’t know what to do, I call her. She and I love each other as much as two people can love. And fight as hard as two people have ever fought! It can be messy, but that’s life.

My aunt died when she was 19, of brain tumor that would have been operable today, but was a death sentence in 1969. My grandmother always says they planned like they had forever, but lived each day like it was the last. When my aunt was diagnosed and died within weeks, this was their comfort. Knowing that they hadn’t wasted their time even though they never had any idea it would be so short.
I myself, have had several brushes with the Grim. I was blessed and prayed back to life. I am grateful. Believe me, I live each day like it could be my last too. Well as often as I can anyway. Some days are just wasted and lost. It’s on those days I pray most fervently for just one more. And one more after that. I’m a dreamer, a wisher and a hoper. Of course I plan for forever. But I’m also a realist. I know my days are numbered.

And yet, when my children come to me with the problems of the young, I just can’t bring myself to burden them with such a sadness of knowing it will too soon all be gone. Sometimes I even find that over the course of counseling them, that this would be the absolute wrong advice to give.

My autistic son hates school. I remind him that it will advance his life to the places he wants to go. He has Asperger’s Syndrome. It means he’s brilliant. He needs that education almost as much as he needs water and air. I try to shore him up, give him resolve. I remind him that a young man born in his era is expected to easily live one hundred years. What’s twelve or sixteen or even twenty out of a hundred? Put it in perspective, my love!

My twelve-year-old daughter is advised she needs an inoculation that could prevent a deadly STD. She is horrified. She never intends to marry, let alone “HAVE SEX, GOD FORBID!!”

I tell her I know this. I understand that she feels this way. Any good girl of deep faith would, maybe even should, feel this way. I assure her that I trust her judgment, that I know she will make good choices for herself in her life. The thing is, it’s a long life. If one is blessed and well, and lives a hundred years, who’s to say that one day, one wont decide they do indeed want to know such intimate love with another human being? Be prepared my daughter! Then you need not fear anything but being consumed by the deepness and light that is the closest way we know to experience God while still in this world.

So as the phone rings and rings in the new apartment for senior living and my grandmother’s voice does not come on the line, I sob and cry. It’s been three days for God’s sake! I am lost and alone in the world without her. I know this temporary, she’ll call me soon. But one day, she wont. She too will be gone. Because life is too short. And yet is so long for those just starting it.

And then there’s me. Here in the middle. Knowing the secret. That it is indeed a short life, but with a lot of days in between. Blessed be. Remember me. I will remember you. The world will go on. The footprints of our love to guide the way for those to come.

                                  <3 As always, From Me2u, Love, Raley Blue <3